Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize