upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
