I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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