apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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