I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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