Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize