hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
