I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
