too bad you live with your parents still
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
