dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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