i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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