Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize