its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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