i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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