There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
