You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
