she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize