Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
