I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
