I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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