its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize