Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
