so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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