Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
