i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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