AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
