Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
