Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize