I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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