I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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