I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
