I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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