He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
