I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
