Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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