Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Randomize
