My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
