I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
