belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize