he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
