i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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