That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize