so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
