you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
