there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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