well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
