ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize