Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
