atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
