I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
