I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
