Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
