I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
