he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
