My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
