you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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