Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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