So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
