So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
