Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we're making bets on your personal life
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
