dude i'm inner monologue high
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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