I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
