i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
