There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
