I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
