This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize