OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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