is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
