i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
