I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
