okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize