Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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