Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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