told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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